Bad Day...

I must admit that I have a pretty sweet life. I spend loads of time with my family, my friends, BFF. I have a hobby I love, and lots of enough time to dedicate towards it. I have my health, a home, a steady pay cheque. I laugh a lot, and I have mad dance parties in the living room more often than not. I take the little things with a grain of sand, and the big things with red lipstick and my big girl panties.

But sometimes I have bad days. Lower than low, sad, mad, frightfully bad days.

And even though I know that I've got to take the bad with the good, and that one bad day doesn't mean I'll have two in a row, or three, or even a week of bad days, they are still really tough and really draining. And really hard to handle. Emotionally. Spiritually. Physically.

But it's only a day. One bad day in an overall history of wham bam thank you ma'am grand slam awesome days!

Odds are that tomorrow won't be a shit day. In fact, tomorrow might be the most awesome day!

So, take care of yourself today. And take deep breaths.

And know that sometimes it takes more than deep breaths. Sometimes it takes beer & bacon & coffee talks with BFF.

It takes what it takes, but don't let it take you.

Do what you have to do, and know that this too shall pass.

A bad day does not equal a bad life.

later loves

photo sources
quote // photo taken by BFF on one of those amazing days I was talking about...

The Things We Do For Love

Sometimes it is nice to stay in your comfort zone. To keep plodding along with the status quo, doing what you know you are good at, or find easy, or find comfortable. And forget that there is a whole other world out there that needs exploring; that deserves your attention.

But sometimes you've just got to bust out into the cold and uncomfortable! And do things because you just have to do them, because you know that without that thing (or that person) life just won't be as amaze-balls. And staying in your little warm comfort zone might result in you spending the rest of your life wondering "what if". And that's a real stinker.

 I've said it on the blog before, but I'll say it again...I have the BEST FRIENDS!! And I am just now (this past year or so) realizing that I can be a good friend, and I can let people through the Great Wall of Lisa, and that I like hugs! More hugs for me!!

photos taken at about 10:30pm, Thursday, November 29, 2012

I will brave the cold for you.

I will brave a room full of strangers for you...if you ask nicely!

I will stand by your side. I will be your wing-man...err, lady?!

I will leave you alone. I will call you every minute.

I will listen to you pour out your heart. I will sit with you in silence.

I will laugh at your stupid jokes, and laugh for reals at your funny ones!

I will take you out for a beer, for a coffee. I will take you where you need to go.

I will understand. No explanations needed. No matter what.

I might even hug you.

-November 30, 2012

I am quite enjoying all these "deep thoughts doodles" I've been doing before bed. Adding to my moleskine a little at a time soothes my mind, quiets my thoughts, and helps me end my day on the highest of notes. And they help me put things in perspective, and see things in my life for what they truly are. The simplest of things, the most common denominator. My basic needs...food, clothing, shelter, beer, and best friends.

And that is that....expect a mushy Christmas letter from me this year, my friends. Indeed.

later loves

Influence

Sometimes I wonder if I am too easily influenced. If I am too easily swayed by popular opinion.....or by close-friend opinion.

I see a news article, and I think "YES! That is exactly what I think!  How serendipitous!" And then I see another article, perhaps in opposition, or from a different side of things. And I think, "no WAIT! I have changed my mind.....THIS is what I think. Yes, YES! This is it! I have decided...."

And sometimes I think this is very troubling. Am I this easily swayed? Am I this easily coerced into changing my well-earned and well-deserved opinion? That is troubling. I would like to think of myself as open-minded. I love to see all sides of the story. And I love to read about what the "opposing" side thinks, and give a moment (or two, or ten) to that train of thought. At school (University, people), we were always encouraged to think critically, and to evaluate every side and every possibly anticipated argument. And that was the whole point of scientific discourse!

And then I look at the relationship I have fostered with BFF. And I wonder how all of this fits. I find myself changing.....but it is NOT troubling in the least.

I now listen to CKUA, and have even donated! (note: BFF is on the "Leadership Donor" list...so....yeah......BUT I WAS MENTIONED ON AIR JUST NOW (~10pm, Thursday, November 1) SO THAT'S KIND OF TOTALLY AWESOME!!!). I listen to "his" podcasts, and read authors that he has recommended. Or at least randomly mentioned in a conversation or two. I watch movies that he likes, and have even noticed myself looking at my house, my life and the world through eyes that remind me of his. Of things that he has said, and "thought out loud" about.

Is that weird? Is that troubling?

I prefer to think of this as a place for me to learn and grow. And to discover new things and new experiences. And to find a partner to explore a world that I totally belong in, but that would never have found on my own. And there is always room in life for that!

And I think I am becoming a more "well-rounded" person for it. A better person for it. Gasp!

I am continually amazed at how much an adult can change and grow every year. I see things move so quickly for Dude, that I (sometimes) forget that I do the same. If not on a less noticeable scale.

I think that sometimes a new friendship, or a new perspective on things is exactly what is needed in life. To get out of a rut, or to inspire new thought, new action, new inspiration. This is kind of amazing, and I can't wait to see what happens next. And what continues to happen. I never thought I would find a best friend in my 30s that inspires me, and continues to push me to be my best. I am surprised, and excited...............and really need to stop drinking so much rum on Thursday nights! Ack! Rum + blogging is a dangerous combination for me! (Please remember, I am writing this on Thursday night, at about 10 pm.....I am not drinking on a Tuesday morning.....geeze!)

Anyhoo...I sometimes wonder if BFF feels the same about me....hmmm.

Do you find your tastes changing as you age?

Do you feel you are always growing as a person?

Is there anything (or anyone) who inspires you to grow, and change and "be the best you"?

later loves

Weirdness Squared

Saw this quote on Elise's blog, on one of her Project Life spreads I believe. Love that gal -- and her never-ending stream of energy. Bottle that, and you could make billions I believe!

I have been struggling lately with some personal stuff that I do NOT want to get in to on the blog (geeze...like you need want to hear any of that anyway...) and quotes like this just help put things in perspective. Which may seem sad and small, that I am inspired by quotes on the Internet, but smarter people than me have struggled with larger things than this, and why not take their advice and heed their "words of wisdom".

I love Nadine's Lift Me Up Thursday posts on her blog for this reason as well. This one really resonated with me, and I posted a "cryptic" comment about it, and I probably shouldn't have...please note: I may not want to talk about it, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate you asking.

That being said, Dear blog-readers: Don't Ask!

Do you struggle with how much personal info to share on your blog?

Do you consider this an impersonal platform, or do you like to bring it "close to home" every now and then?!

And since I absolutely LOVE turning a negative into a positive, or whatever this next bit qualifies as, I think I am going to start a positive quote Internet meme board in my studio! Get rid of all the clutter on my current bulletin board - a afternoon weekend assignment in itself - and start printing off these gems I keep finding. I am not usually one to believe in signs, and sometimes I want to tell the Universe to just fuck off, but all these quotes I have been reading lately are really appropriate and they feel important. It feels like I am approaching this big monumental event or thing or turning point in my life. And the more help I can get leading up to it the better.

Even if it is the anonymous Internet kind of help!

later loves

Fall is...

.....pumpkin things (granola! cookies!)

.....discovering new blogs (like Light a Candle & Smitten.....fellow Edmontonians! Whee!!)

.....scarves & boots

.....cozy socks

.....scrapbooking & crafting

.....almost over!

Edmonton gets a strange fall season. Summer lasts late into September around here, and we sometimes still experience high 20s in the first week of October! And then the leaves start to change colour and then pretty much completely change overnight. And then the photographers come out, while they can. And then it snows, and gets damn cold. Not "effin cold". Not yet. Just "damn cold." Sometimes this takes a month or so. And sometimes we get all of this happening within a week!

The day you find your first red leaf on the ground. The day you feel the first cold nip in the air, even though the sun is shining bright and golden. The day Starbucks starts serving the Pumpkin Spice Latte, and all your favourite food blogs are in full-blown pumpkin mode. The day you have to actually turn on the furnace and just cannot tough it out in scarves and sweaters and layers any more? That's the day you know fall is here!

And then it's gone before you know it! So you best take advantage of it while you can!

I like fall because of the potential. A change of seasons means, ultimately, a change in how the world looks, a change in activities, a change in perspective. I like looking at the new season like I do the new year. I make goals, or at least revised to-do lists. I feel the urge to start something, or try something new. I always want to craft more, and drink more coffee, and meet up with my friends before the craziness that is the "Holiday Season" gets going.

Does Autumn mean something special to you?

Do you have any fun fall traditions?

Do you even get an Autumn where you live?!

And speaking of crafts...wait, what?! Anyhoo, I tried to make this fabulous painted leaves garland thingy to hang on my mantle and satisfy goal #2 from this post here. I got the idea from this post here and trusted in the awesomeness that is Alisa Burke that I could not go wrong with this. Yeah...the leaves looked so beautiful right after I painted them. And then one day later they had pretty much all dried out and curled up on themselves. And now they look like...well...like the dead leaves that they are!

But I just can't bring myself to take it down!

later loves

Dear Self:

At the Calgary Science Centre, aka Spark, they have some very inspiring exhibits. The one that the kids wanted to spend the least amount of time in, and the one that the adults enjoyed the most was called "Being Human". It centers around all the science and creativity that makes us unique. And most of the displays were interactive, and user-generated. There was a recording booth where you could answer prompts about love, there was a whole wall - with graphics - on fetal development. And there was this area, where you could write a note to your past and/or future self.

I wanted to hang out here.

And it got me thinking. What kinds of things would I tell Past-Lisa and Future-Lisa? Would I give advice? Would I give encouragement? Would I ask for a favour?

I spent a little bit of time during my lunch break yesterday thinking about those questions, and writing myself a note. Nothing too fancy or formal. Just some writing practice. And I thought it would be fun to share here...so here goes nothing.

before we begin: For a really long time, my fall was defined by school. It is a strong habit/tradition to break, and since this has been on my mind lately, this is the focus of my first letter. Also, I kind of focused on my early University self. The self that was just figuring out what it meant to be an adult, and what it meant to try and find her own way in the world.

Dear Past Self: University has the strange distinction of being just the place for you, and yet also completely not the place for you. You are wondering now if you made the right choice, and I'll let you in on a little secret: 10 years on, and you're still wondering. You may feel very isolated while being completely surrounded by people, and even though you think nobody actually wants to spend time with you, you eventually find new ways, and new people that are just like you! But you still hang out with the high school crowd, so you made a good choice there. You will always feel a little lost, but it becomes less of an immediate stress, and more of a learning experience. You amaze yourself every year with how much you have grown as a person. And how much of yourself you found.

Your writing still stinks! And you still use non-words all the DOODLE time! You're not as hilarious as you think you are, but don't let that ever hold you back. In fact, some of your new friends actually enjoy your sense of humour (what is wrong with them?!), so keep up the good work. Oh, and you are still full of shit your self!

Dear Future Self: Whatever happens, whatever decisions I make or fail to make, I think about you all the time. And I am not worried.  To see how far I have come in the past couple of years, I can only attempt to imagine the awesomeness that is Future-Lisa, in her flying car, carrying her iPlacard protesting the use of cyborgs in the home. The friendships that I am making now are more important to me than anything, and I hope that they have only grown and flourished. I also hope that you finally started hugging people! You might not remember this, but sometimes you used to feel like a bad mom, and a bad partner, and there were some crippling moments of self-doubt that were only remedied with a little blog & buddy time. I'm hoping that everything works out and "used to feel like" is a great descriptor of times to come! I am full of hope and anticipation for you, but I'm also not keen on rushing your arrival! I want you to know that whatever you are, whoever you have become, I am proud of you. Because from what I've seen, I just keep getting better and better with age!

I hope turning 40 isn't as bad as turning 31 was! And I hope that you look amazing, and kept up with all the working out, and the gluten-free nonsense that I am embracing right now. Or whatever new food-nonsense comes up in the new world...maybe even grow your own food, or get a damn chicken! Also, amaze-balls is this word I use, and you should bring it back into style. Or I guess, in to style in the first place....it's not really catching on. I really hope you wear a bikini sometimes, and are still thrifting like a crazy lady...but not the bikini. That would just be actual crazy. Keep being crazy.

I also hope that you said "I love you" when the time was right.

Have you ever written a letter to your future self?

Wouldn't this be a cool thing to add to a Time Capsule?!

DUDE!!

later loves

A Long Time in the Making

I started penning this post the day after my birthday. I wanted to remember all that I was feeling about my weekend, and about getting older, and about where I'm at now compared to where I want to be.

And I wondered what this post would have looked like if I started writing it on Saturday night instead. Oh Sunday....this happens every time....

I am actually having a hard time putting in to words what I am feeling today, but I think I need to try. I'm thinking that maybe I should just turn off the brain and let it all just be whatever it is. And not over think it. And not worry about what could be, or what could have been.

I kind of felt on top of the world that weekend. I had four days of amazing friends, & food, & family. I went on a little adventure. I went to a movie. I got a record player and listened to some fabulous classic tunes.

And I felt really young and alive. Even surrounded by all the hipsters at the movie! Wink!

And I felt as light as a feather (except after all that food on Saturday night, oi vay!)

And even with all my over-thinking things, I feel like I am in a really good place.

I feel like I don't really need or want to change anything. I had an amazing summer. I am doing fine at work and with my other commitments. I am doing more exciting things than I ever thought possible, and my life seems really full. I could always use more time, but that kind of goes without saying!

September is always a positive month for me. With my birthday, and the changing seasons I always feel more alive and capable of pretty much anything. I want to do whatever I can to continue this feeling into the winter and the New Year (if I can swing it).

More on my "Fall Goals" later; aka stuff I'm going to write down and say I'm going to do and then probably never do, but maybe I'll do something cooler.

later loves

Deep Thoughts Hate Laundry Lists

Hi Nadine. I think you did post this article before, but I'm reading it again. Oh, and these "Big Questions" as well...hmmm...

Background: I hate "self-help" writings. I find that it is mostly generalized garbage, touted by someone who thinks they have learned all "the answers" and wants the rest of the world to know how clever he/she is. Gee...thanks for that. The lady who has been married eight times, and wants to give me advice on a healthy marriage!? Um, no thanks!

I also can't stand the "laundry lists" of things you should do or shouldn't do with your life. Like I need someone else giving me the "shoulds". I get enough of that from my stupid, gorgeous brain.

#1. You should stop listening to haters and believe in yourself and follow your heart.
#2. You should follow your dreams, and forgive, and be the best that you can be.
#3. You should tell me to shut the fuck up, cause what do I know about your life, your dreams, your situation, your reality.

Despite all of this cynicism that pervades my entire existence and threatens to overwhelm me and wash me out to sea, I love this article. Well, it's kind of a love-hate relationship I'm fostering here. I don't know why I love it. I cannot explain this strange phenomenon.

I am - however - trying really hard to listen to the inner Lisa. The Lisa that is stage-whispering her every wish and desire and wondering why I haven't followed through. The Lisa that I cannot hear, that I cannot understand, that I cannot figure out. This Lisa is lost. I would love to find her, assuming she even exists in there any more.

Sometimes I think you need an outside opinion, a fresh look for this kind of deep thought moment. I know that there are people in my life that could help me, that would help me. And who wouldn't judge me. And who would give me good advice, great advice.

Or who would smack me upside the head and shake me cause I'm being an idiot. Whichever was required.

I hate when these lists come out and make things look so easy. Make all your dreams come true! You too can "live up to your potential" by using this handy Point Form Guide to Life! Geez Louise.

But I will take what I can of this, as a reminder that all the things that I think I want (and need) for my life and my well-being are perhaps not as out of reach as I previously imagined.

Now if only I could figure out what those things are...where is the helpful list for that?

And so after all of those "deep thoughts" I will leave you with this quote, that I so helpfully found on A Dreamer's Daze "the other day" (which in my blog language means when I was writing this post on the 7th...and finishing it on the 28th)

"Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell, just to keep getting your fix." -Karen Marie Moning

Ain't that just the truth. Cheers to those people in my life who bring out the most in me, because even though I have no idea what I want out of life, I know I couldn't do any of it without you...thank you!

later loves

p.s. I am in what I like to call an "I love you I love you I love you I LOVE YOU" mood today. So.....yep......not sure if any of this made sense to anyone (or even to me), but it seemed necessary at the time. Thanks for listening.

Life is Pretty Awesome

Life is full of awesomeness! It sucks the big one that we tend to get so bogged down when some crappy happens. Ultimately, it's the moments of light within the fog and the "daily grind" that make all of this worth every minute.

Jill's wedding. Kara, me & Chantel pictured. Good times had.

 I am NOT going to let the negative shit that other people do effect my day and my mood and my life. Even if these people be family, yo!

Sarah & Charlie's Baby Shower. Charlie and Cheryl pictured.

I AM going to invite people over (stress!) and play games and drink drinks and enjoy the company. I am going to accept every invitation out for drinks, or shows, or games, or whatever!

I want to be a good friend, and I want my friends to know I love them. (I LOVE YOU!)

109 Street. Transcend "patio". Coffee date with BFF.

I am going to take photos, lots of them, even if the lighting is bad and there is a proverbial "white speedo" in the background. These are where my memories are grounded. These are the pictures that are going to keep me warm when I am old and (more) grey.

At Queen Elizabeth Pool. July 20, 2012

I am going to savour every moment with my Moms and Dads. And nephews and niece. And brothers and sisters. These people are my past and my future, and my future's future. I want to be able to tell these boys (and Griffin & Londyn) stories about the "good old days", and hug them, and give them all the love & Auntie-specific guidance they need to make their own way in this world.

Dude, Grandma, Evan & Captain. Still undecided on Evan's nickname. Good thing he's too young to notice!

I am going to do what it takes to make my life fit my idea of what my life should look like. I have come to realize in this stage of said life, that sometimes this is going to rub people the wrong way. What the heck is that all about!? I don't have time for that, so back off and let me walk my own path.

I am grateful for all of these moments...and more.

Churchill Square. Taste of Edmonton. Wide Mouth Mason FREE outdoor concert. Beer Gardens...need I say more.

Outtake!

later loves

Sleep...glorious sleep

currently...9:35am, dining room table

eating: tapioca rice sesame seed bagel (meh...) with PB & honey

drinking: "coffee" made with many-day-old grounds cause I am out of new ones.

needing: Some real coffee, but I am currently not wearing any pants so a trip to Starbucks isn't in the near future. Yeah Internet, I went there.

listening: Thrilling Adventure Hour podcast. HI-larious!

thinking: "out with the old and in with the new"

wanting: more dates out with my friends
loving: those people with a beautiful and positive influence on my life

later today: some sort of outdoor pool action with the Dude

If any of you follow me on Facebook you may have noticed I posted about a bullying situation at work the other day. This isn't a new thing there, but it's just really getting out of hand. Bullies really piss me off because there is no reason for it. Especially from an adult, who should know better. This particular bully influences the office with her behaviour, and it has a negative impact beyond just the person she is attacking. And she doesn't even get it!

I am grateful for those people in my life that have a positive impact on my life! They inspire me to get outside my comfort zone, and try new things, and really go after what I love. And they get me listening to goofy podcasts and watching strange old movies.

When that is a possibility in the world, why would you want to waste your time with petty pranks and being a stupid bitch...?

later loves

This might be the rum talking...but...

Why is it so hard for me to say "I love you" with my mouth and in person? And not just with my fingers, and my keyboard. And my "happy mail" and care packages. And my quiet, unwavering, jump in with both feet, all-of-my-heart support in the wings.

And why do I have such a hard time explaining this mental block to someone (eg. BFF) who might actually benefit from an explanation? Stupid brain...

Back tomorrow with a real post...cross my heart.

"Before" and "In Progress"

I didn't want to do this post. I never thought I would be the person who doesn't want to look back at old photos of herself. But I kind of am.

I worry that by looking back like this, I am getting stuck in the past. Getting stuck in thoughts like: "how could I have let this go on for so long", and "how did I ever think I felt and looked good!?" I want to be positive and remember only the happy moments that these photos represent, but it is damn hard. And then I remember that that's all loser talk, and I am so not a loser, and I was happy then, and I was satisfied with all that I had and all that I was. And so I don't mind posting these pics...

I choose to focus on the present, and look forward to the future.

And I choose to post these because I want to be proud of how far I have come, and be happy with how good I feel about myself today.

And I chose to wear the same dress because it felt damn good to put it on knowing that it was going to look really big compared to the "before" pics! See that second pic there? That's me holding my head up high, goofy grin and all.

Before: April 28 & June 16, 2011

In Progress: June 28, 2012

Please note: I decided to call these "Before & In Progress" pictures. Gorgeous Clever Nadine thought I should post something because of how far I have come (and how amazing the transformation is), but I hate to think that this is the end for me. And so stepped in my Gorgeous Clever Little Sister Amy, who told me to post the current photos as "in progress". And I like that!

later loves

Lovely Life

So this week I wanted to host a little "love fest" here on the blog! A love-in, as it were. I've been noticing a lot of self-love posts on some of my favourite blogs lately, and I thought I would join in on the party.

But I want mine to be more than just being comfortable in my own skin, etc. I want this to be a week to really appreciate and be grateful for all the wonderful things we have in our lives.

Welcome to Lovely Life!

This week I have a bunch of posts scheduled for you, all themed around celebrating your life and all the good little parts in it! I was doing up these posts while procrastinating packing for my trip! YAY!

So I wanted to make this first post all about the people in my life that take up the most space in my heart, and in my head. These are people that I may not see very often, but they are often in my thoughts.

I wonder if they are well, and if they are happy. And I miss them when they are gone. My heart is full of happiness when I see them fulfilling their dreams!

Some of these people are family, and some might as well be!

After wandering through my photos I realized I have barely any photos of my brothers! I need to fix that... Otherwise it was so much fun looking back through these old photos. Lucas was so chubby!

Before I go I just have to wish my amazing sister a Happy Birthday!! Thirty ain't so bad...at least that's what I keep telling myself, and I passed thirty ages ago! I love you lil sis, and I hope your boys really spoil you today!

later loves

On friendship...

"Friends build you up, they support you, they shine a light on your good qualities while looking past your not so good ones. They know that by building you up it doesn't take anything away from them." (from this post on Brenda's blog)

I have learned a lot of things about friendship lately...because of a dude. Go figure.

I have learned that you can do stupid shit, and it is forgiven. Or ignored. Whatever is most appropriate.

I have learned that what I think of as "stupid shit" may or may not be recognized as such.

I have learned that you can act like an idiot, and you will be laughed at accordingly, and your calls will still be returned.

I have learned what it means to just call someone and chat. Or text, as the case may be.

I have learned that if someone doesn't reply to your email right away it doesn't mean you're not friends any more. It just means you found someone even busier than you are.

Mae Chevrette's Blog

When I tell people that I am terrible at "normal social interactions", they laugh at me, and tell me that there is no way this can be true. Most people don't have this problem, so they don't understand. This type of thing is easy for most people, and therefore my little issue is a strange strange thing. Let's look at it this way. When people tell me that colour and art comes effortlessly to me and that they could never do that and that it is so not easy, I don't understand, because for me it is second nature. It comes naturally to me. And apparently dealing with people is the opposite of that for me.

I know that I am (usually) terrible with people. I am just wired wrong for that sort of thing.

Or maybe I was just waiting for the right time and the right person to come along and let me get some practice in!

Thank goodness for the people in my life that understand this about me, and have patience with me. And have stuck around to learn that I can be quite awesome, and that I am full of love, even though I don't know how to show it. And seem to love me in spite of it!

This was a post that I wasn't really sure about posting, and I scheduled it and un-scheduled it many times. But it's an honest look at a big part of my life, and I'm not afraid of sharing! And maybe someone out there will see a bit of herself in this post, and know she's not alone and that there's hope for us!!

later loves

Crazy Gym Lady

I never ever ever thought I would be one of those people who loves going to the gym.

If I am feeling tired, or sad, or crappy, or cranky, or overwhelmed, or underwhelmed, or lonely, or freaked out I go to the gym. If I am spending too much time in my head, and those silly little things that I tend to obsess over are getting out of control, I go to the gym.

If I am feeling like I really really don't want to go to the gym, the best thing for me to do is go to the gym.

The gym may not fix all of my problems, but it makes a dent in some of the more obvious ones.

And it has make such a huge impact on my quality of life! I have more energy, and am feeling more positive and more inspired, and more in love with everything and everyone.

If I can recommend anything to anyone about all I have learned through all of this, is just to get moving! Get out there, get active, chase your kids (or your dog), go dancing. You don't need a gym membership to be active and feel good about yourself.

Because that's what this is all about, after all.

Birds flyin' high, you know how I feel.

Sun in the sky, you know how I feel.

Breeze drifting on by, you know how I feel.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me

And I'm feeling good.

-Nina Simone

later loves

Works for Me

I bought this dress ages ago, at a thrift store. It didn't fit me, but I figured I could cut it apart and make it into separates. But I never got around to it...thank goodness!

(photos taken May 17, 2012...ahh now I know why I look so happy!)


later loves

Three Wishes and Being a Responsible Adult

When I was younger I probably thought being an adult would be so wonderful. Being able to make my own rules, doing my own thing, going out with my friends all the time, seeing concerts and shows. Trying out new restaurants, new bars, new places.

And then reality struck me down. Those things take money. And - more importantly - those things take time, precious, beautiful, wonderful time. Time which is in short supply when you work and have a kid!

But I do okay. And I'm getting better...

And I have learned some important lessons, that might prove to be interesting to my younger self.

When you have so little time, you make time for the people who are most important to you.

You may not go to the fanciest restaurants, or the newest, coolest, shiniest places. Hell, you may end up at Starbucks every other night. But if you're there with the right person, it doesn't much matter.

And sometimes you have to make sacrifices and get a washer/dryer set instead of going to see Wil Wheaton in Calgary...

But sometimes great things happen and instead of a fun road trip you get to have a movie date with a best friend!

I still have big things I want to do and to see. But I'm not too worried about all of that. But if I was...

#1. Alisa Burke's Art Retreat
#2. Comic Con ....it's on the bucket list
#3. Duran Duran anywhere

The little things now include items like fancy drinks with friends and fancy dessert with friends. But really, I would love a simple night out with some nachos, good beer and good company!

That is all people! Enjoy your day!! And can I just say "It's June Already!?!?!?!?"
later loves

I'm All Yours

"All the lives, always tempted to trade. Will they hate me for all the choices I made?...I can't stop now I know who I am. I'm all yours - I'm not afraid - and you're all mine, say what they may. And all your love I'll take to the grave.  They can't tear me down, they can't take you out of my thoughts. Under every scar there's a battle I've lost. And all my life starts now."

(From "Eclipse (All Yours)" by Metric. aka the only good thing to come out of the Twilight movie franchise.)

This is what you wear when you become an Auntie for the second time! And that profile shot was sort of a happy accident. Look how skinny I am from the side as well!

Life is not easy. Life throws shit at you, and you have to duck, dodge, dip, dive and dodge as best you can. And make it work. And make it wonderful. No matter how stinky, or foul, or difficult the Universe makes things for you, it also makes you stronger and tougher and smarter and better. I'm looking forward to that!!

later loves

Stop Trying to Prove Something

"We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are."
(Marjorie Hinckley, found on this post of Alisa's)

This is such a sweet sentiment It makes me feel calm way down deep in my soul. I know this. I have always known this. But it's good to have the words in front of my eyes to see and learn and take within.

I am not worried about proving anything to anyone but myself. I do not keep score.

I know what I am. I can laugh at myself, and I can let others laugh at me and with me. And I can over-analyze things, and I can feel two things at the same time that conflict with one another. I can be a contradiction and can be contradicted and corrected. I can be busy and busy and busy and busy, and I can take a moment off.

I am a shit storm of imperfections and that is kind of perfect. Just the way I like it.

I am colour and I am life and I am love.

But sometimes I am afraid...and unsure...(here...this night...this moment...)

And that's okay too. Because I am still moving and still figuring things out and still learning. And everyday I become more brave and more me!

later loves


Kara might still have this dress in her shop, so contact her if you like it!! I've got this one coming this week! WOOT! And can I just say I love you girlie!!

the new phone books are here! the new phone books are here!

Tomorrow is Record Store Day...I might take a chance and take a leap and find a local record store and see what there is to see. It is intimidating for some reason. This is a world I am as of yet familiar with only in the comfort and safety (and anonymity) of my own home.

Same reason I won't go into a comic book store...even though I desperately wanna! Boy howdy!

Maybe this is the month of conquering the fear...Lisa! Take your own advice and run towards it!!

Duh...

later loves