Bigger To-Do List Than To-Do Time

In my newsletter that went out at the beginning of the month I wrote about having a to-do list that's bigger than my to-do time. And how I was going to spend March trying to make myself more accountable to that list. How I was not going to let it overwhelm me (v important). And how I was going to be purposeful about getting that shit done!

If it's important enough to go on a list, let's make sure it gets done!

All of this is of course written with the understanding that if something is just not working it's absolutely okay to take it right off the list. Your list. Your life.

GO BACK TO THE BIG LIST

For me, this is the time of year where I get a case of the "what is even the point even?!" My blogging dips, and I ask myself "why bother? no one reads it anyway." I question my goals in the same way. So it's an excellent time to remind myself of them. And evaluate to see if they still fit and resonate with my current situation, changed or not. Things change! Life is just that - change is the only constant. So I never write a goal in stone, and I always give myself permission to change it up as needed.

Here is what my "Big List" looked like in January.

I have already filled in the Belonging box, and added a few more items to the rest. Some of the actions on here have already changed, either due to necessity or external forces. And some I changed because they weren't working for me as-is. Now is a good time to re-write as I re-evaluate. Doing so might also help me narrow down some to-dos and schedule the work.

SCHEDULE
I am a Planner Person now. If it's not in here, it doesn't happen. Today I took a few minutes to review my schedule for the rest of the month and see where I could fit some big and little actions in. When you're doing this, it's important to consider your available bandwidth and capacity. I've got Hot Lunch next week, which means the night before is unavailable for anything other than prep work. Art Night is in a couple of days, but maybe I could use that time to make progress on a Goal. I also have an EDFMA shift on Sunday. There's not a lot of social interaction involved, but it's enough that I'll need a nap and some introverting afterwards.

I'm excited about a Polly Barks webinar next week on how to set up a sustainability challenge. The content from the 2 hour session will keep me busy for the week after.

It looks like I am in good shape, and I am feeling confident about my goals too. Once March is in the bag, I will do another deep dive into my Goals, and break some down into further actions. And make sure I take the time to add them to my schedule so I don't start feeling overwhelmed again so quickly. I've got some Accountability Club homework to do as well, to prep for our next meeting in April. It's a good reminder that BIG goals happen because of lots of little steps and check marks along the way.

xo
Lisa

FURTHER READING

To sign up for my email newsletter, click here. I send at least one per month. And usually write about what's going on in my life right now, and hopefully give you some things to ponder on.

Check out more of my Belonging 2020 posts.

Planner is Get to Work Book by Elise Blaha Cripe.

She has a great book about setting goals out right now as well: Big Dreams, Daily Joys

Polly Barks is a sustainability educator

Mug is from Oil & Birch

One Dress, One Week

This all started with one of those"this time last year" summaries in my Google photos dashboard. The photo is me looking cute in a black t-shirt dress and red jacket that I hadn't worn in forever. So I went looking through the basement clothing racks to see if I could resurrect the look - and yes! The dress hadn't quite made it to the donate pile yet!

Monday morning came, and this cute outfit came back. And it was then that I remembered an old favourite activity - wear the same dress every day for a whole week.

So...here was last week.

FEEL CUTE, FEEL ACTIVATED, FEEL SPACE

My Dudes. Sometimes I cannot even do simple things without my Guiding Word jumping up and smacking me in the face. I mean, this is a free dress that I got while volunteering at a clothing swap. And here we are tying it back to my fricken goals for the year. Hot. Damn. Y'all thought you were getting a fashion post!

I feel cute, cause I'm cute. I feel activated because I'm finally in a position where I am comfortable with my tiny closet filled with secondhand pieces. And I feel space because having a small wardrobe means less time getting dressed, less rushing in the mornings.

BUT I ALSO FEEL SO OVER THIS DRESS

Goals aren't the only thing getting an examination with this dress. I only made it five days with this challenge, because I realized that I am over this dress. I am over the saggy tights. And always having to tug on the bottom of the dress to cover my bum when I stand up or get out of the car. I love the monochrome, but I'm not married to black. This dress is going in the donate bin and the tights in the garbage. I'm over it. I learned my lesson and now I can move on and through.

And I've already started planning how to fill this "hole" in my closet. While understanding that the hole is imaginary and I definitely will not be walking around naked because I have other clothes "Karen" get off my back!

CLOSET HOLES ARE IMAGINARY

I am always suspicious of bloggers and instagrammers who've given themselves the "slow fashion" epithet justifying purchase after purchase by using the phrase "I'm just filling a hole." Here's the secret.

The hole is imaginary. It's made up.

Y'all have SO MANY CLOTHES don't try and bullshit me with the whole "while I do have a pair of brown heeled booties I did up a spreadsheet to prove that I needed a pair of fur-lined brown heeled booties to FILL A HOLE", mmkay? Please. This ain't my first sustainable wardrobe rodeo.

For me it's less about a self-made hole, and more about refining & reducing my closet, making MORE out of less. And being truly intentional and reflective about my choices.

This includes considering how long the garment will last, and how many times I will be able to wear it.

This includes considering how the garment was made and by who. Like, were they paid a living wage? Because a $2 t-shirt means slave labour, don't @ me.

This includes considering what the garment is made of. Cotton is terrible for pesticide and water use, but organic cotton is also terrible. Linen is yay. Microplastics are boooooo.

This includes considering the cost, and if I can afford it, or if I can make due without.

And this is just the start of the conversation.

My muscle memory still has me buying without thinking twice sometimes. It's a hard habit to break. Weeks like this help. Posts and chats like this help. Unsubscribing from all the shopping newsletters help. Lists help.

THE FIRST RULE OF A SUSTAINABLE WARDROBE

I thought I would end with a great tip on starting to build a sustainable, ethical, "slow", minimal wardrobe.

1) Stop buying so much shit.

That's it, that's the tip. You're welcome.

Now I'm going to be over here over thinking my purchase of a red linen jumpsuit to match my favourite sneakers. Y'know. To fill that hole or whatever.

FURTHER READING

I most recently wrote about Values-based Budgeting here
Gotta love a 10x10 Challenge
This is one of my favourite fashion posts ever
I've been doing this type of challenge for ages: "One Dress Five Ways"
Plato's Closet Strathcona is a great local consignment store
My 2020 Guiding Word (because (most) everything link back to the foundation)

xo
Lis

Values Based Budgeting and FOMO

Values Based Budgeting and FOMO is really helping me with my goals this month!

Recently, I voiced a realization that felt really true to me in the moment. And it's still resonating two weeks later now that I've had a chance to digest it. I don't get FOMO for places or activities. I get FOMO for the people. It's the human connection that I crave....that I envy. (Is that how everyone experiences FOMO?)

Now that I've recognized and named it, I can identify those FOMO feelings when I have them and work through them. I know that this energy is negative and does not serve me. So, how to turn it around? With Values-Based Budgeting that's how!

Talk about an(other) unexpected discovery!

I joined in to Bravely Go's "No Spend February" so I've been diving into articles on her site. And she is a huge advocate for Values Based Budgeting. Essentially, VBB asks you to build a budget around your personal values. And not on external expectations of what your life "should" look like or what other people spend their money on.

OH YES THERE IT IS!

By letting my values dictate what I want to spend my money on I am able to stop and evaluate the FOMO and move past it. Say a group of friendlies dress up and go out to the bar. I don't drink and I don't place (social or monetary) value on a night out like that, but I feel FOMO. Why?! Those people are spending their money on their values, which are different than mine. (And that's okay!) But they got to hang out with each other when they do it, and that's the source of my FOMO.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY...

I value spending time with my friends. Now I can do the work to align this value with my money goals, and cut out the FOMO. You (theoretically) can't be afraid of missing out if you're doing the planning and hosting. Hence, Galentine's Brunch.

It helps that Galentine's Brunch was one of my actions within my goal of "Belonging" this year. Made it much easier to identify it as a value and make space for it in my budget.

I got to hang out with my friends and family. I spent my money on, and made space in my budget for something I value. I had an amazing time. And I achieved a goal for the year!

TIPS FOR ALL OF US

For those of you out there who also experience FOMO perhaps here is a tip that might work for you. The next time you see a photo and feel that twinge initial twinge of envy / FOMO pause. Breathe. And try to dive deep into the why behind the feeling. Is there a value behind that FOMO? Is there another feeling that you are chasing? Could you make space for something in your life - an action - that could get you closer to that feeling?

This will at least give you something to do as your face is turning green and it might also help future feelings of FOMO be softer. And then disappear eventually. That's the ideal state right? Who am I kidding...that's probably not going to happen. But we can hope!

FURTHER READING

Read more here about how I chose my guiding word for 2020.
Here is an article on Bravely Go specifically about Values Based Budgeting

xo Lisa

Guiding Word of 2020 - Belonging

The story behind choosing my 2020 Word is a bit NSFW (essentially I was reading IG on the toilet), but it all started with this image.

It might have been the satisfying BM, but I'm pretty sure it was actually a swelling of emotions that brought a tear to my eye when I read Morgan Harper Nichols thoughts. I try not to overthink my words. They come to me, and it's good. There is always something to learn from them.

(I didn't learn until after I selected my word that Brene Brown talks a lot about "belonging". It remains to be seen if I will use any of her teachings this year...)

HOW I DOCUMENT MY WORD
After 20+ years of scrapbooking, making albums, and documenting life, I can finally say that I know what I need to do to have success on a project like this:

• Simplicity
• A Repeatable Formula
• Everything At Hand

At the end of 2018 I made the decision to include more photos in my 2019 album, and by the end of last year I was ready to add more art. This is a fluid process folks, that I'm sure will keep changing as I do.

Some things stayed the same between 2019 and 2020. I'm still relying heavily on sticky notes to keep track of what photos go where. And I really appreciate the pre-printed cards for journaling, weekly check-ins, art...whatever I feel like. One goes in each weekly "spread" so I remember to do something there. But if I forget I move on. No hard feelings.


WHERE DO I START?
This year I started by setting four feelings goals. I wrote (& stamped) them on 4x6 sheets of cardstock, and will write my corresponding actions (what I will do to feel that way) once they're "finalized". Knowing that I can always change my mind and cut out something that's not working for me. My life, my project, my rules.

These feelings didn't jump out at me right away. Other than the cute one! But now that they're inked in black and I've had a chance to sit with them, I'm super confident in my selections. I  have some goals that don't fall into one of the feelings categories (like home stuff and my reading goal). Those will be documented in other ways.

This work forms the foundation of my year and of my album. So far it's very empty! But it will slowly fill up over the year with memories, thoughts, art...lots of goodies.

And that's it so far! As with the start of every year when I have chosen a word, I am excited to see what 2020 has in store for me! I've got some big plans, and Belonging is a big part of those plans. I'll keep you posted here and on IG with the good word.


FURTHER READING
You will find my previous posts on choosing a guiding word for the year filed under One Little Word. Last year my word was CURRENT, and boy did it take me for a ride.

Morgan Harper Nichols is on Instagram here and is definitely worth a follow.

xo, Lisa

Holding Space

In 2020 I want to feel space.

One of the ways I am exploring this feelings goal is by learning to hold space for others. And creating moments that enable me to do that.

Holding space means to make it about someone else.

Art Night is one of those moments. And my Galentine's Brunch is another of those moments. Those invites went out this morning and my anxiety is ping-ping-pinging! But the responses so far have been excited and generous. And I can't wait to welcome these ladies in to my home and feed them (vegan) cheese!

In looking for Belonging I am creating my own. I feel so privileged to be able to pursue this and craft a space (both literally and figuratively) that is welcoming to others.

In order to better explore this goal, I started doing some reading on "holding space" and wow. It is a WHOLE THING!

The term "holding space" traditionally refers to the work done by spiritual coaches, nurses, therapists, support givers, facilitators, etc. It means supporting someone with your complete self, giving up control of the outcome, and listening without judgement. It's usually done for folks experiencing loss, grief, trauma, pain.

Holding space is something that I do on the Sexual Assault Centre of Edmonton's Crisis and Information Line. (And I didn't even realize it until I started doing my reading...). That's holding space for BIG things, and I consider it a sacred task.

But I also want to open up the concept of holding space in my day-to-day connections with people. I want to create space for folks to be creative without judgement, advice, or ego. I want to create space for women to meet other women, and have whole-hearted conversations.

And I want to see where all of this takes me in the future. Holding space is a sacred skill, one that I want to practice and improve upon. It's not flashy or glamorous, but it feels good and whole.

What a journey to be on with y'all!


FURTHER READING
I hosted my first Galentine's Brunch in 2019, and posted some thoughts and photos here.

And here are some of the lovely articles I read while researching this post (and this goal):
The Sweetness of Holding Space for Another by Lynn Hauka (HuffPost)
What it Means to Hold Space for Someone by Heather Plett (Uplift)
11 Things that will help you hold space for someone by Reaca Pearl (Good Therapy)

xo
Lis