Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Dear Self:

At the Calgary Science Centre, aka Spark, they have some very inspiring exhibits. The one that the kids wanted to spend the least amount of time in, and the one that the adults enjoyed the most was called "Being Human". It centers around all the science and creativity that makes us unique. And most of the displays were interactive, and user-generated. There was a recording booth where you could answer prompts about love, there was a whole wall - with graphics - on fetal development. And there was this area, where you could write a note to your past and/or future self.

I wanted to hang out here.

And it got me thinking. What kinds of things would I tell Past-Lisa and Future-Lisa? Would I give advice? Would I give encouragement? Would I ask for a favour?

I spent a little bit of time during my lunch break yesterday thinking about those questions, and writing myself a note. Nothing too fancy or formal. Just some writing practice. And I thought it would be fun to share here...so here goes nothing.

before we begin: For a really long time, my fall was defined by school. It is a strong habit/tradition to break, and since this has been on my mind lately, this is the focus of my first letter. Also, I kind of focused on my early University self. The self that was just figuring out what it meant to be an adult, and what it meant to try and find her own way in the world.

Dear Past Self: University has the strange distinction of being just the place for you, and yet also completely not the place for you. You are wondering now if you made the right choice, and I'll let you in on a little secret: 10 years on, and you're still wondering. You may feel very isolated while being completely surrounded by people, and even though you think nobody actually wants to spend time with you, you eventually find new ways, and new people that are just like you! But you still hang out with the high school crowd, so you made a good choice there. You will always feel a little lost, but it becomes less of an immediate stress, and more of a learning experience. You amaze yourself every year with how much you have grown as a person. And how much of yourself you found.

Your writing still stinks! And you still use non-words all the DOODLE time! You're not as hilarious as you think you are, but don't let that ever hold you back. In fact, some of your new friends actually enjoy your sense of humour (what is wrong with them?!), so keep up the good work. Oh, and you are still full of shit your self!


Dear Future Self: Whatever happens, whatever decisions I make or fail to make, I think about you all the time. And I am not worried.  To see how far I have come in the past couple of years, I can only attempt to imagine the awesomeness that is Future-Lisa, in her flying car, carrying her iPlacard protesting the use of cyborgs in the home. The friendships that I am making now are more important to me than anything, and I hope that they have only grown and flourished. I also hope that you finally started hugging people! You might not remember this, but sometimes you used to feel like a bad mom, and a bad partner, and there were some crippling moments of self-doubt that were only remedied with a little blog & buddy time. I'm hoping that everything works out and "used to feel like" is a great descriptor of times to come! I am full of hope and anticipation for you, but I'm also not keen on rushing your arrival! I want you to know that whatever you are, whoever you have become, I am proud of you. Because from what I've seen, I just keep getting better and better with age!

I hope turning 40 isn't as bad as turning 31 was! And I hope that you look amazing, and kept up with all the working out, and the gluten-free nonsense that I am embracing right now. Or whatever new food-nonsense comes up in the new world...maybe even grow your own food, or get a damn chicken! Also, amaze-balls is this word I use, and you should bring it back into style. Or I guess, in to style in the first place....it's not really catching on. I really hope you wear a bikini sometimes, and are still thrifting like a crazy lady...but not the bikini. That would just be actual crazy. Keep being crazy.

I also hope that you said "I love you" when the time was right.

Have you ever written a letter to your future self?
Wouldn't this be a cool thing to add to a Time Capsule?!
DUDE!!

later loves

5 comments:

  1. I adore everything about this. I especially love that you put some real thought into this and didn't just write something generic. I'll give it some thought myself and maybe I'll write a little post, too.

    I think for my past-self, it might include something like: Although you will make some terrible decisions, especially relating to men and school, you will be triumphant in the end and you will learn so much from those ridiculous choices that they will suddenly become worth it when you're older.

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  2. Lisa, I'm totally teary-eyed right now. I really love this post! I sometimes think about what I would say to Past Me if I had the chance but then I remember that there's no way I would have listened to Future Me (gah - teenagers!). Still, I love this post - completely! It would be a great thing to put in a time capsule for sure, but it would make an even better scrapbook page! Hope you're having a lovely Tuesday!

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    1. I just might have to turn these into a layout. I yoinked some of the papers from the Science Centre, with their kooky futuristic font (and pasturistic?!) that I could use. Good Call!

      I know there are lots of things I would tell past me, but I agree that I probably wouldn't have listened! Best to let me work through all that shit on my own, or else where would I be today?

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  3. This post is wonderful, thank you for sharing. I too am all teary eyed.
    What a great "thinking" kind of subject.
    hugs sweet friend.

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