I Fell Off A Cliff*

I Fell Off A Cliff

I mean, not literally. Maybe it's more like a rabbit hole. At any rate, I am somewhere I don't want to be, and I am just hanging out there until I can find a way to help myself get the hell out of there.

I feel like I am waiting for something to happen. That everything is in flux, or in status, or in a holding pattern. I can't quite put my finger on the why or the how, but this is the overall feeling I am getting about 2016.

I wrote the above back in September/October.

I still can't put my finger on it, but 2016 seems like it was a really weird year, y'know? I am entering these last months (shit balls!) with a lack of energy, and a desire to just get through the year and start fresh in January.

On the other hand, that's not really fair.

To myself, to my goals, to anyone.

I had a little "check in" with myself the other night. I wrote in my "Dear Lisa" notebook for the first time in a couple of months. And I have decided to make room in my life for room. For reflection. For a small plan to make the most out of the rest of 2016 and start 2017 on the right foot. I've already got some BIG PLANS that are going to take time and effort to execute. I am nervous and excited. And I am so damn ready. I might even get a cat.

"Dear Lisa. You need to be a little selfish right now and figure out what you need to do to give yourself some peace and happiness. You are allowed to be low and sad, but you can't focus on that! Remember 2013...that was a tough year for you, but it was also a great year! Just think, and you will discover and remember why that year was awesome and learn from it."

xo

Reading Goal LEVEL UNLOCKED!

Guys, I finished my reading goal for the year four and a half months early! I can barely believe it myself.

Things I have learned this year:
1) I am reading more diverse books and authors this year than ever before and I love it
2) I am SICK AND TIRED of reading books with the following themes:
     - Rich people behaving badly
     - Sad moms who had crappy childhoods and treat their kids bad
     - Married couples who don't like each other anymore
     - Fatal illness YA romance
3) If I am not "into" a book, I don't feel bad AT ALL about not finishing it
4) MORE WOMEN AUTHORS PLEASE!
5) Young adult books are (mostly) really amazing and highly recommended.
6) Lucas & I are burning through all the kids audio books at the library! Our favourite series are The Ranger's Apprentice & ALL the Deltora series.

This doesn't mean I stop reading for the rest of the year, no sirree! I keep filling up my holds list at the library, and I promise to finish & return the books I borrowed from Jessica, Ginger and Shaughan! I am going to go back through some of my TBR lists and see if I can't clear them out a bit, and create a curated list for 2017.

I promised myself a nice summary post for my 2016 books, so I am going to get started on that now with the hopes that it will be done before the year is out.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
sigh...

xo

Running Goals

I went for a run the other night. The first time in a long time, And it was glorious.

My body has been rebelling against me every time I hit the track for the past few months. So I made adjustments, and I waited.

The other day at the gym I thought I would give it a go. And my body said "okay Lisa, we can do this."

And Sunday night I was in desperate need of an outdoor activity, so I put on all my gear, and I just went. No overthinking (no thinking). I find that the first run back after a break is always the "easiest". Meaning the next run might kick my ass again. But I've got (some) momentum and I'm not going to squander it.

1) Run 1km without stopping - Completed September 18
2) Run 2km without stopping
3) Run 3km without stopping
4) Run 4km without stopping
5) Run 5km without stopping
6) Run 1km in 8 minutes
7) Run 1km in 7.5 minutes
8) Run 1km in 7 minutes

These are my 2016 Running Goals. They are simple milestones that I can watch for and aim for. But they are simple. That's the way I like my goals.

Feels so good to get back out there.

#sonotladylikegoals2016 - A New Mailbox!

So you might remember from this list that one of my goals this year was to Relocate My Mailbox.  Well, I finally finished this project last month (or perhaps June?), and I am beyond happy with the results!

Let me just say that painting the box was the most fun and easiest part of this project. The rest was an exercise in hilarious failures! The screws I bought were way too long and robust. My drill kept failing on me and I stripped many screws thanks to it. The entire post with box is super top heavy, so it kept falling out of the pot. But I pushed through. and it looks damn fine now if I do say so myself.

Awww, I even painted a thank you note to my mail carrier! I was very excited when my first piece of mail showed up in there.

Supplies Used:

- Wooden mailbox you can find at any craft store. This particular one was purchased for me by my mother after we bought our first home in 2006. It has never been used as a proper mailbox until now!

- Basic acrylic paint and some lacquer for sealing

- Scrap wood

- Metal numbers purchased at Rona. Fun Fact! While rummaging around in my basement storage room last week I found some lovely large metal address numbers for my address! Sigh.

Plants:
- Lavender, crossing my fingers that it will over-winter here
- Marigolds
- Lemon balm that is calmly taking over the whole damn scene and I love it
- Please ignore my sketchy tomatoes in the background. All of my food plants are shit this year.

July Long Adventure

Last weekend me, Delilah, and the boys headed out to Kootenay Plains on the David Thompson Highway for a long weekend camping adventure! Happy Canada Day!

Kootenay Plains is a group campground site that is literally right on the highway, but a lot of the campsites are tucked beside a rocky outcropping (a cliff? a mountain fingerling? I am not up on my geology terms...) so it is quiet and lovely. I mean, look at that view!

Gran bought the boys some dollar store bow & arrows, which all broke immediately. But with a little duct tape, Gran had them all back in commission. Note: this was the most fun thing the entire weekend. Below, you can see Evan in his power pose.

Day two, we decided on the Siffleur Falls hike, which is literally immediately across the highway from us. There are some really steep sections, but the boys were champs! Eventually you hit the gorge, with the river running below. Again, spectacular views both above and below.

My parents! It's been a really long time since we went camping together, so this was a big treat for everyone.

Relaxing with some G&Ts outside the cookhouse. BFF was in Red Deer for work all week, so it was completely amazing to have him come out with us! Also, he is the only one who knows how to set up the tarps...so....

We got one of the campsites that is nestled up against the rocks at the back of the campsite. Popular with rock climbers, BFF, Dad, Lucas & I attempted a skinny little goat path and made it to the top! You can see our cook shelter tucked in the trees at the bottom of the photo.

My boys! They had so much fun this weekend, playing Catan (so many games of Catan were played!), colouring (Evan was carrying this colouring book + a pink felt around for most of Saturday afternoon), chasing each other, making a fort out of the firewood, climbing rocks, and wrestling with Grandpa.

It was my sister's birthday on Saturday, so Evan & I spent some time picking wildflowers to make her a little bouquet! He presented it to her so perfectly, and there were only a few bugs on it.

Amy brought her own cake because she is the smartest person I know.

We actually were invited to be part of a larger group, connected via a friend of my Dad's. Kam (& his wife Jan) are avid mountain climbers, world travelers, volunteers, and just genuinely nice and smart people. I mean, Kam is "something else", but at least 92% awesome. We spent our last night sitting around the campfire with Dad, Kam and their friend Tyler telling dirty jokes.

Other info about this area...
- The closest town is Nordegg, and they have gas and most services. Next closest is Rocky Mountain House, which is larger, with more services. It's a good place to stop for a quick snack or rest on the way down. Saskatchewan Crossing and access to the National Parks is about 20km away. It's nice drive in to Lake Louise or up the Icefields Parkway if you are so inclined.
- This entire stretch is dark sky rated. We had a couple of cloudy nights (and also I was too tired to stay up past 11pm), but the star viewing is supposed to be very amazing here!
- It is BEAR COUNTRY PEOPLE! You have to be really careful with food storage, garbage, etc. Walk in groups, walk loudly, carry bear spray, that kind of thing. That being said I think it's been many years since anyone has reported a bear sighting in the campground.
- There are a lot of informal camping sites along the highway. In fact, you could pretty much pull over anywhere and set up for the night. And a lot of people do. The big lake (reservoir) just to the north of Koontenay Plains (Abraham Lake) is the most beautiful colour of turquoise, and there are always loads of people with their trailers and tents set up on its shore.


BFF & I are already talking about coming back in the fall...

I Say This Every Month

Umm, what happened to May?

Reading back through my blog, I discovered that I did not post anything related to my goals at the start of May! Oops?

I did find my April goals post, and I fell in love with it all over again. And I pulled up my April folder on my photo stick and wow....April was really amazing!

And you know what, so was May. And it's over now too! And when I started writing this post, we were only a week into June. And now June is on its way out as well.

Time goes so fast when you're old.

I did cross one of my goals off my list last month. I finally finished relocating my mailbox! I keep taking photos of it, and then deleting them off my phone when my storage gets low and I need to take another photo right away! Sigh. It will show up on here eventually!

Remember this list...I sure do...

I still try to read it every week, but mostly I just try to survive every week. Make sure Lucas is fed and has clean clothes, and get up the nerve to do the dishes.

xo

You Got This

I was going to make this another "goals recap", but that is kind of useless at this point in my year because I have nothing to report.

And I'm so totally okay with that!

I did make some progress on my mailbox relocation! And Lucas very purposefully re-read my goals list in the bathroom and told me that I can cross off my "relocate mailbox" goal. Excitement! I'll share more on that later...once I find the photos I took.

I am grateful everyday for the change in the weather. My whole mood has changed, my whole life. Yes, that's dramatic, but my fellow #yeggers will understand. The bleakness of winter starts to really grind on even the most positive outlooked people by March, and every extra moment of sunlight feels like a blessing.

BFF & I have been going on some major walks, and I started walking at lunch. For the whole lunch hour. I've been exhausted every afternoon so far, but I am also feeling much more energetic and focused in the evenings. There's the bonus right there.

More reading, more walking, more creating.

April is for MORE for everything.

It's March Now?!

Well, it's a new month. Which means this is what my calendar is telling me.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Screw you February!

Screw you goals!

I read you, and I have thought of you (intermittently) over the last month, but that's about where that ends.

#progressnotperfection? I can't even get the progress part figured out!

Thank goodness tomorrow is a brand new day.

xo

January Promise - Welcome February

Back in 2014, I started writing out 4 goals every month. These "Monthly Goals" were related to my main goals or OLW for the year, and were meant to keep me moving forward (or at least moving), on track, and have a little fun while I was at it! And it was fun! I'm not sure if it did what I wanted it to do, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

I don't think I will bring it back to the blog this year, but I would like to do something on a monthly basis to help me re-focus. January had such promise in those first few days, but how has it stacked up now that the month is done?

So this year as a way to keep me moving forward with my goals, and evaluating my successes as the year moves on, I have written the following on my calendar on the 1st of every month:

This is a simple prompt and reminder for me to pull out my goal sheet, and read it. I don’t want this to become an exercise in “what haven’t I accomplished”, but I do think it will keep me more accountable, keep the goals fresh in my mind, and keep me excited about what I have achieved so far!

This will also give me a chance to evaluate what’s working and what isn’t. Are there goals I am not connecting with anymore? Are there goals that I have already achieved, that can be ramped up to finish the year strong?

Etcetera!

(Gosh I love that word spelled out.)

For example, one of my personal goals was to start running twice a week. Looking back through my Runtastic app, I can see that I used it 8 times in January. That works out to be about twice a week! I feel really confident in this goal, and when I look at my results I can see that my hard work is paying off already.

Something that I know I want to focus on more this month are the gratitude and meditation goals. This is something I have addressed in some work-related goals and practices I started building for myself this week, so it will be nice to tie that in with my personal goals.

All in all, I think my year has started out pretty damn fine!

xo

Looking Back - My Journey As A Runner

I fucking hate looking back at some blog posts from a couple of years ago. I can now identify the things I was feeling and thinking that I didn't recognize back then because I was too close, and too filled with doubts and questions. I have now lived their outcome. It's also sad because there were so many things that I was excelling at - despite my broken heart - that I have given up in the years since. Like running.

selfie taken spring (summer?) 2013 - damn fine gams

To be honest, I really love running. And my specific running related goal this year is to start running at least twice a week, increasing to 3 times a week in the spring.

As Jill likes to say, "a goal without a plan is just a wish." So I bought a membership at a gym with an indoor track. And I have an informal ongoing date with BFF to go running together. And I use a running app, and I do watch my time and try to "beat" it every time I hit the track.

And my ultimate goal is to be faster and to run longer distances.

But you'll note I didn't get very specific and include "run a 5k" on this year's list.

This was one of my major goals back in 2013, when I was going through some of the biggest changes of my adult life. I actually couldn't stand being at home, so I would go running every night. It's sad that those circumstances got me in the best physical shape of my life. My ex read my goals on my blog (he never read my blog), and enrolled us in a 5k through his work because he wanted to help me reach my goal. And we ran the 5k together. And it was awesome and sad at the same time.

But I did it! And despite all the other shit that was going on in my personal life, I was so very proud of myself.

And then we ran another 5k together the year after. And again, it was so awesome to have someone I trusted running by my side! But to already have moved on and know that whatever running goals I would set in the future, he wouldn't be part of them...that was sad and coloured the experience for me.

So I include "running" on my 2016 Goals, but I just can't put "run a 5k" on my damn goal sheet. Too much heartache there.

photos from our Colour Me Rad run, July 2014

But I would like to get back there, back to that feeling I had when I completed a 5k with a friend/lover by my side. That was damn fine. I guess it's not just my body that needs the 5k training...it's my heart too.

xo

#sonotladylikegoals2016 - Write It Out

In our December sales & marketing call, K.O. was talking to Jill about how to help her sales team set goals and keep them accountable. His main message was to write them down, and post them somewhere you will look at them everyday. His family's location of preference was the back of the bathroom door (for obvious time-related reasons ;-).

I loved the simple format of the sheet he shared with us, and the basic thought behind his location choice. And I know I have heard all this before, but sometimes it takes a mentor telling you via an online call to really have it sink in.

Here goes nothing...

The format is simple. I split my goals into FOUR sections, with FOUR goals per section. I have history with this number + goals so I am starting from a good place already. The sections are Personal, Family, Emotional (or spiritual if that suits you better), and House.

K.O. recommended we write a present tense statement about doing the goal. Not sure if I did this "right" but after the first couple of statements, it started to really flow and I really got excited about the process! I WILL sounds so powerful. It is full of potential and intention. And I am kind of in love with it.

I posted it in the bathroom, on the mirror, so I can look at it everyday. I think this is really going to be key for me this year.

And what's even better, is I had Dude do it too. I know that he has to write out his goals for the year in school, and I remember how much that terrified and frustrated me when I was in school. Because no one ever taught me HOW to set a goal, what it should look like, what it should feel like. And no one ever held me accountable at the end of the school year. I had a shit attitude toward goal-setting for most of my life, and it is only now that I am comfortable and excited with this exercise, and am seeing real-time results. This is something I want to teach Dude. Because just like whistling, I think this will be an amazing tool to make his life so much better and more interesting. And mostly, I don't want this to frustrate him throughout his school years, as it did me.

I posted my goals list on Instagram last week, and I got such lovely and inspiring comments! So I re-wrote the headers, scanned it in, and am offering it as a downloadable PDF here. This is for personal use only, but feel free to print off a couple for the other people in your family.

And if you do download it, and use it to help set your goals for the year (month, week, etc.), I would love to see the results! If you are on Instagram, please share and tag me: @formerlylisas

xo

small goals...BIG GOALS

Today at work my goal was to sort through my emails, and get my Unread Deleted Items down to a more manageable 2000 messages. Don't ask... I started the day at around 5000, and ended it at about 3600. Phew!

Next is to get my Inbox down from 800+ to at most 500 Unread messages. Again, don't ask.

I have a hard time deleting things from my life. Emails, memorabilia, egg cartons. But I'm working on it. It's a life-long work-in-progress, actually, and the day I said that out loud and owned it was one of the better days of my anxious life.

I am never going to have a clutter-free house - or Inbox - and that's okay. I don't judge myself for it anymore, and if anyone else does then that's their damn problem not mine. But there are still ways I can improve my quality of life when the clutter gets to be too much. Most of these involve small goals, tackling one drawer or one area of my home at a time. Or asking BFF to take the offending item away without me looking.

small goals are just as valid and useful and important as BIG GOALS.

xo

2016 Goals

I feel like 2014 and 2105 kicked my ass. Either that, or I just sort of coasted through them, just managing to get through, and now I can see the light on the other side.

Sounds a lot more dramatic than it was I can assure you!

My Word for 2015 was Simplify. And I think I tried to embody that this year. I'm not sure if I will choose a word for 2016, as nothing has inspired me yet. But there is still time.

It just came to me, just now.

My Word for 2016 is TIME. Yep, that feels right.

I know that I want to spend some time (look it's already popping up!) working on my 2015 Photo Album. That one kind of petered out in the spring. And start on something for 2016.

Otherwise, here are my "Goals" for 2016. In no particular order...

Slow The Fuck Down....Make time to meditate and work on my yoga practice.

NO impulse Old Navy shopping. NO impulse Value Village shopping.

(I have a strategy for these, so we'll see what happens!)

Get Fit & Have Fun!

Buy a camper van & go on many adventures with my Boys.

Volunteer.

Grow my own food, build a beautiful yard, spend more time in it.

More painting, more art, more mini albums.

I finally get what I like, and what excites me...now to practice.

Blog about those things.

Blog! Yes, I feel like this is the year I get back into blogging more regularly. No comments Dad!

Focus on journaling - writing and art - as a way to combat my low periods.

TOP SECRET PROJECT. This one has my nerves on edge, but "nervous means do it." So I am at least going to try.


I enjoy the process of taking time to set goals, and make plans at the end of the year. I am still not good at looking back and seeing what became of my goals that I made the year before, but I am making progress on that front as well. I need to find some accountability...whether that looks like a Lady Tribe, or a Outlook calendar reminder, I don't know yet. But I'll let you know when I figure it out!

I would also like to try to help Lucas set some goals, both for school and personal. Perhaps we can be each other's accountability meter. Nah, we need someone a little less scatterbrained and easily distracted for that.

I also believe in writing down your goals and looking at them everyday as a way to ensure success. This is something that I have always struggled with in the past, especially as the months tick by. But I took some pointers from an amazing dude from 'Merica, and I think this year is the year I finally get it. His initials are K.O. and he lists me as one of his Top Three People of 2015, so I take his opinions very seriously ;-)

2016 is going to be an amazing year!!

xo