"I can't sleep" (and) "It's all about attitude"

According to current scientific and medical knowledge, I am on the cusp of becoming an old woman. All that "great" stuff that comes with being a mature individual starts to rear its ugly head right around this time in a lady's life. Peri-menopause symptoms can start as early as age 33 (that's my next birthday!), and all my best child-bearing years are behind me (not too worried about that one). My wrinkles will only get deeper & more plentiful, my hair greyer (& thinner), my boobs droopier (yep...went there). My bones will thin, my eyes will fail, my gums will receded & my teeth will be harder to clean. It will take me longer to recover from injuries, and it will be harder to lose weight. Granted, this is a bit of a laundry list, and not everything will hit with the same power at the same time, but it's all looming up on me.

Indeed, I am already starting to see some of these "symptoms". This is not hypochondria or that problem that med students have when they start studying diseases and think they have each one! This is legit, yo. And it starts with the whole "I can't sleep" thing.

I work with enough "ladies of a certain age" to know that sleeping is an issue with all of them. Falling asleep, staying asleep, getting good quality sleep...if it's not one issue it's another, sometimes all at once. Sometimes the issue is snoring partners, but that's best left to another post! HA!

And lately I have noticed that I wake up in the night more often than I have before. And when my alarm rings in the morning, I have a really hard time waking up and getting out of bed. I feel exhausted, but I go to bed so early! But on the weeks when I really take care of myself and go to the gym and eat well, my sleep quality is improved! And I feel better on the whole, both mentally and physically. And knowing that I have that kind of control over my well-being is so wonderful, and positive! 

Please do not take this post as a complaint against ageing. I am not afraid of getting old, of watching those birthdays fly by. The more I think on it, the more I realize that I am so much more comfortable in my own skin now than I have ever been, and I only see that situation improving every year.

I want to age gracefully, and gratefully, and I want to be the best old person I can be. And the healthiest. I don't want to live forever, but I want the rest of my life to be the BEST years of my life.

I want to continue to be comfortable in my own skin, but recognize that this skin is changing and that I will need to adapt my lifestyle - and attitude - accordingly. To make the most out of the good, and mitigate the bad.

And I am going to find a Doctor! I have a confession to make. I haven't seen a medical doctor since just after Lucas was born, and that was to check my lady parts, if you know what I mean. He turns 8 this August. I am not necessarily ashamed of this, as it is hard to find a good, consistent not medi-centre-related jerk-Dr. in this town (sigh...), but I know this situation needs to change. Especially if I have any kind of health issues going in to the future, I want someone to have my history so they can spot those changes & problems before they get out of hand.

Mostly I just want to be flexible and give myself all the necessary tools - mentally & physically - to weather these changes that I can see close on the horizon.

Ultimately, I believe that you are only as old as you feel, and most days I don't feel so old! I feel just right! That's not to say that I have my whole life figured out or something. One thing at a time, eh?!

later loves