I have finally participated in the separated ladies right of passage. I asked my divorced girlfriends for a divorce lawyer recommendation.
And I have felt like throwing up everyday since.
It's so weird this feeling. Of knowing that this is what I wanted, but being so unprepared for the actuality of it. The doing part. The calling a lawyer, and filling out forms, and figuring out life stuff (which I am traditionally woefully unsuited for).
And being the one that didn't initiate this part of things.
But this is sort of the natural course of these things, right? Move out. Stay moved out. Wait 1.5 years...
And so I have reached this place. And I will make the best of it. And I will enjoy these days. And I will laugh, and reminisce, and try to remember to call my lawyer (right now! call her! you forgot again!) And I will try to tell people in person that this is happening (ha ha ha!).
But I'm good. I'm where I wanted to be, where I need to be.
It's still weird though. It's at the very least "weird".
That grey fuzzy path into the future that my moving out generated last year, is now becoming solid.
And it isn't what I thought it would look like.