On Monday night, after Lucas & I had finished with our bedtime stories (Kit Feeny and Jabba the Puppet for him, Small Island for me) I went outside to rake. It was late, close to 10. The sun was almost fully set, so it was by the light of the streetlights that I raked.
At that moment I was feeling very nostalgic and very grateful. I remember the days when Mom used to rake our big yard. With that big heavy metal rake! That thing was so heavy. I'm surprised she didn't have bigger arms...
I am grateful that I have a big yard, even if it is going to take me another 4 days to rake the whole thing! I am grateful that I am healthy and strong enough to do it. My (borrowed) metal rake makes a clink noise every time it hits the ground. It is small, but heavy enough that I feel the pull in my shoulders immediately.
There is a slight breeze in the air, with a wetness that comes at night in the spring. It isn't cold, but it is chilly enough that I am thankful for my Kimberley hoodie. I am wearing only my pajamas underneath my hoodie. I was just in bed reading stories after all. The lamp in my living room is on, as is the outside light. My house appears to glow. It looks so warm and inviting. It looks like home.
In this brief moment I am not thinking about a hundred other things. I am not thinking about work, and how stressed and busy I have been lately. I am not thinking about how I feel lost and alone. I am not thinking about money, or stuff, or relationships, or anything else that has been pressing hard on my mind lately. I am thinking about all the fun I will be having on my deck and in my yard all summer. I am thinking about buying some grass seed when I get a chance, because the sod the city "installed" (last summer perhaps?) does not connect to the rest of the lawn and is pulling up in some places. I am hoping that all the people who walk their dogs down my street (of which there are hundreds) are responsible pet owners and that my rake isn't picking up any surprises as I go.
I didn't spend much time out there that night, 20 minutes or so. But it was alovely, normal, boring, useful, practical, satisfying 20 minutes.