Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Mother's Day Lessons

I found this in my DRAFTS list.

Every year I am left feeling disappointed and exhausted on Mother's Day. I read a comment on Facebook from a mom who wrote that the success of Mother's Day depends on having a supportive partner, with other moms chiming in with their experience of reluctant kids, well-meaning kids leaving messes that they'll have to clean up later, and partners and kids who ignore their wishes and requests for their "special day". I felt like cheering.

My kid doesn't care, my partner isn't a parent, so why even bother?

I tried to make a plan this year so that I would at least get to do something I wanted to do. But it was still a huge letdown.

My one bright spot is that Lucas got his step-Mom a present and a card. I mean, I helped him come up with the idea for the gift, took him to buy it, reminded him to make a card, asked him to text his dad to ask when would be a good time to drop it off, and then drove him to their house to drop it off...but it got done.

Being a mom is exhausting, and Mother's Day comes with so much baggage for so many reasons. I love reading the posts on Instagram addressed to those folks who have complicated relationships with the word "mother", and how that presents itself in their lives.

Folks who want to be moms, but aren't.

Folks who have messy relationships with their kids or abusive relationships with their mom.

Folks who have lost children or lost parents.

The list goes on and on and on and on and it frustrates me that being a mom is so complicated. So fraught with explainers, and if onlys, and expectations, and baggage.

When I see the blissful breathless blessed posts the disconnect feels even stronger. Because I know that those posts only show part of the story, and I wonder who they are for. They aren't for me. I contributed to the false front this year, and I really wish I had just kept my fool mouth shut (and my phone off).

Lesson learned. Make a note. Next year Mother's Day is cancelled.

That was from Mother's Day 2019. That was a rough year for me, to say the least!

Sunday was Mother's Day 2020. And guess what I did...

I went to a local coffee shop and read. I went for a walk in the River Valley. I rode my bike to an early dinner/late lunch at my fave little pub. I read some more at home. And I had a sunset photo session with Hayley from Paper Ink Art.

HAHAHAHAHA JK All of those things were COVID-cancelled! Well, almost all of those things were cancelled. I was able to do my "sunset" photo session with Hayley, and it was so lovely.

I tried to make a plan, and ask for what I want and the stupid Universe had other ideas.

I tried though. And I survived. Mother's Day is hard, and that's okay. And Lucas bought me a Blizzard.


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