Celebrating One Year of Sobriety

I celebrated one year of "sobriety" yesterday with coffee and brunch at my favourite bar with my favourite Babe.

I can't believe I did it! And I can't believe it was so easy for me. I had somehow tied a big chunk of my identity to drinking, and by losing that, by giving it up, I thought I would lose me. And I thought that part of me would fight to the death to stick around. Turns out that making this good choice for myself was simple, so the follow through became second nature.

This was an experiment, and to be honest, I thought I would "fail". I have learned a bit about discipline and "willpower" over the past year, and I now know that willpower is pretty much a lie. Making changes to your life is about so much more than trusting yourself to say NO over and over again.

I don't have any words of wisdom for other folks embarking on this path. I do not identify as an alcoholic, and I don't even like to use the word "sober" to describe what I'm doing and how I'm living. But I do know that if you're thinking about giving up drinking or cutting back, it's a fabulous idea and I will be your biggest cheerleader and supporter!

I did this for me, I learned a lot about myself, and ultimately I've decided to keep on this path.

Consider me a permanent member of the Fancy Soda Club.

xo Lis

FURTHER READING
My Year (At Least) of Sobriety


P.S. I've got a newsletter scheduled to go out on January 1! If you want to receive a copy for yourself, click here to subscribe.

Adventures in Sobriety - Going to a Gala

I have never posted about the gala on my blog. For the past five Octobers I have been working my butt off to submit entries in our local home builder association's Awards of Excellence. And every March we celebrate at the Gala.

This was my first year of no drinking at a Gala. It was ...boring, exhausting, long, frustrating, tense, anxiety-inducing...it was all these feelings that normally would have been squashed down in favour of the reckless abandon of another gin & tonic.

I'm not going to say that I was grateful for the boring parts, but we still managed to have fun!

I rented an outfit this year, and I have never felt more beautiful or comfortable in my own skin. Sparkly gold jumpsuits are (apparently) my jam.

My gratitude for this man right here - joining me on all of my adventures with love, support and a smile - know no bounds.

Every day that I don't reach for a beer I am so proud of myself. And knowing that in all of this growth that I am doing, this best self I am trying to achieve I haven't lost the essence of who I am...is priceless.

Once a dork, always a dork.

FURTHER READING
My first post on My Year (at least) of Sobriety
I rented my sparkly jumpsuit from The Fitzroy, and I highly recommend it.
I used to participate in a link-up hosted by a group of bloggers across North America called "What to Wear". It's a bit of a blast from the past, but you can see those posts here. Remember Lisa with red hair? The internet does!

xo

My Year (At Least) of Sobriety

These photos are from my last beer on December 28, 2018. This might be my second last beer, I can't remember. However, I do remember laying in bed for the entire day after and hating every beer I drank the night before. That was when I decided that 2019 would be the year I stopped drinking.

But it wasn't just this one instance that forms "the reason" I'm going sober in 2019. As with many folks I'm sure, there have been many similar mornings (or days) after a late night over the years that stack on top of each other. They are all the reason I am doing this. The "okay one more glass" out for dinner with friends, or the never-ending bottle of wine at a work Christmas party. All of this adds up. It takes a toll on my self awareness, on my self esteem, on the picture of myself that I have drawn. Is this who I am? If I'm not having a beer on a patio on a hot summer day, who am I?

I guess it was when I started to tie parts of my identity to drinking, that I knew something had to give. This year I am focused on my CURRENT self. Part of that focus is identifying who I am and what that means for me today, later this year, and later in my life (should I be so blessed to get so many days). I am hopeful that once I strip down all of these exterior things - Instagram, Facebook, alcohol, among other things - I can find my true self and work on making her the best she can be.

OUTSIDE SUPPORT
With a goal like this, I knew I would need to rely on outside support. As dedicated and strong and committed I feel to this today, while January is a blessing it is not ever a fair indicator of what the rest of the year will bring. For example, I lose my shit in November every year without fail. When I started out on this journey I knew that I would need to prepare in advance for those dark days ahead.

Unfortunately, most of the rhetoric and discussion around sobriety doesn't resonate with me. I don't like using the word "clean", I don't identify as an addict or an alcoholic, and using a religious program to quit doesn't align with my beliefs. This meant that I didn't find much support or relevant wisdom online.

But there are people like me out there, and once I started looking deeper, I found inspirational stories. I had already made my decision and found confidence in it, but these resources helped me examine the "why behind the why". And I am hopeful that they will also help me throughout the year when I need help to keep going. I know that I am doing the right thing for myself, but I am also a realist and know there will be low days (hello November!). On those days, when I'm not sure who to reach out to, at least I will have this.

THE BEST DECISION FOR ME
January has been so wonderful for this goal. My hardest moment was when BFF and I went to our favourite pub for dinner and "drinks." It seemed as thought everyone in the whole place had a frosty, frothy beer in front of them, including my date. I could almost taste the beer on my tongue when our server brought our order. The folks sharing our table ordered the beer I would have ordered - the feature tap - and my brain started to overwhelm itself. But I never questioned my choice to stick to water, and eventually we got chatting and the food came and the moment passed. I passed. And when I woke up the next morning and felt great, it felt great.

I am already really enjoying all the FANCY SODAS that come with sobriety! I am set to become a fancy soda connoisseur and this excites me to no end. Please hit me up with all your fancy soda recommendations!


FURTHER READING
Right now I feel like I need to read and absorb as much as I can about this new thing I am getting myself into, so prepare yourself for a "resource dump".
Queerflex Kyle's Instagram. Sobriety isn't the sole focus of their account, but good news! If you like queer fitness inspiration and general supportive awesomeness, you might find something here!
She Explores episode 92: Quitting Can be a kindness. Interview with Nicole Antoinette
There are no recent posts on Snapshots of Sobriety, but there are loads of archives for me to dig through.
I'm saving this one for the relapse: Relapse Happens by Tawny Laura on SobreiTea Party
The Hip Sobriety manifesto.
What 365 days of sobriety from alcohol taught me about myself and our culture by Krista Jahnke on Medium. This article had some good points on how our culture views alcohol, but was overall a bit too "I'm better than you sheep because I don't put POISON in my body!"...yeah
This Naked Mind, the book & the podcast

I have a feeling I will end up writing a Tuesday Link List with more resources. Now that I've started looking, there are a lot of folks writing soberly about sobriety.
xo