Wednesday, March 28, 2018

(Parenting) Dreams Do Come True

I debated posting this here, as I know Lucas has been requesting more and more privacy online lately, BUT I also think there is a bit of a void when it comes to meaningful information out there about parenting an older child.

So here it goes.

Lucas never to rarely talks about what's going on in school. It is like pulling teeth to get him to admit even what he did at lunch. So when we started chatting about his science unit one night, I was excited and surprised. The surprise especially came when he told me he was working on a group project in his science unit, and that he had created a slideshow about volcanology!

A little bit more digging turned up the possibility for a display...and then I got really excited! And so did Lucas!

I was not expecting this, but over the 12 years of parenting this unique soul, I have learned that the moment Lucas shows interest in anything I have to strike while the iron is hot.

So out came the laptop, the markers, and we made a plan for his trifold display.

I encouraged him to plan out his project first, so that when we finally bought the trifold, he could easily transfer the info over and not have to make a bunch of changes or adjustments. Much to my delight, he took my advice.

I was not prepared to parent a child who is nothing like me. I (naively) thought my kid would easily excel at school, be slightly obsessed with reading and homework, have a slight streak of perfectionism, and would always strive to improve.

Lucas is nothing like that. And I really find myself struggling not only to connect with him, but also to help him in the way that is best for him.

My attention to detail and perfectionism has come in handy in my job, but it hasn't always been that way. Everything takes me a bit longer to complete, and the anxiety that can accompany that can be severe and difficult to manage. Lucas' anxiety stems from another place, but he is definitely not a perfectionist! He is a "get it done to good enough and then it's done" kind of kid. And no prompting or cajoling from Mom is going to change that.

Letting go of my perfectionist tendencies for him is another life lesson.

Him using my paper trimmer is a dream within a dream come true!

I missed the night he painted his volcano, but I am kind of grateful for that because he & BFF had to work together to figure it out! Oh man, if I could have been a fly on the wall for that event! My two boys working together....ack, I'm getting a little vaklempt just thinking about it.

I will say that I am proud of his confidence in himself, but I also worry that this sometimes presents as overconfidence. And that might bit him in the ass when it comes to higher level education where the standards are so much higher and he doesn't yet have the awareness in his abilities to know when confidence won't make up for sloppy work.

I never did get a picture of the finished product. He took his lovely, labelled, trifold display of the Anatomy of a Volcano to school on the last day before spring break. And he was so happy to be finished, to have something he was proud of to contribute to his science project. And I was just happy to have made a new connection with him.

I am so grateful for the moments I have with other parents of kids in the low double digits! How empowering to know I am not alone when my kid just wants to lie around and watch You Tube videos all the time. I am always stumbling across blogs and resources for parents of babies, toddlers, and young school-aged kids, but very little for us parents of "tweens". So, I have started compiling a little list of resources! Check back next week for that post!

xo Lisa

1 comment:

  1. I love this. It's beautifully written. You are amazing! Hugs!


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