Thinking about Single Parenting on the Last Day of School

Dude finished Grade 7 last week. Grade fricken seven. At my junior high school, of all places. Milestones like this bring up lots of feelings for me.

I love taking Dude to school. I purposely arranged my schedule at work so I could drop him off on Friday mornings. I love the first day of school and the last day of school, seeing the changes in him.

But as a single mom who works full-time, it can be hard to fully participate and experience these milestones.

So I have to make the most of the in between moments, the moments that happen in and around these milestones.

I'm sad that I miss out on things, but so happy that I get to have time with Lucas to chat about his life and learn more about what makes him happy.

xo

FURTHER READING

For thoughts about missing the first day of school...many years ago...click here.

Speaking of last days of school, for some fabulous university grad photos click here.

This post shows a scrapbooking layout I made for Lucas' first day of kindergarten!

And then this post includes a photo of Lucas "graduating" from preschool. MY HEART!

Great Blogs About Tweens & Teens

Okay...so I know I "promised" that this blog post would happen weeks ago, but I'm not ashamed. I'm out there, living my life, trying to fit my 100 Day Project into my days (nights...who am I kidding), and just being generally awesome away from my computer.

At any rate, definitely not apologizing for this radio silence on here, but I DO now have a fun wrap up post on some websites and blogs I found for parents of non-toddler-type children!


Aha Parenting // The page I have linked here is a round up of all of their articles on parenting a teen. There are loads of great articles on here. I'm digging into the ones focused on staying connected and a building relationship that will last into the teen years.

The Loop // Now, this is an overall lifestyle site, but the article I have linked specifically talks about parenting a 12 year old boy! I've got one of those!

For Every Mom //  And this article is about how awesome 12 year old boys are! Not a lot of how-tos in this, but I do appreciate the sentiment of enjoying this stage while it lasts. There is a lot of preaching and holier-than-thou attitudes on this site, so grain of salt it out.

U Know Kids // The specific article I have linked discusses technology addiction in kids, which I can definitely see coming in handy as we navigate these next few years. I will add that this blog article is linked to a product that helps you monitor your kids' activity on their phone. I'm not quite there yet, and I can't say I endorse this kind of thing, but you do you!

Alberta Mamas // Love that it's local to me, and showcases a lot of travel options within the province.

Mum in the Madhouse // After 2 minutes on her site, I was ready to create an easter egg hunt for Dude (which I haven't done in years), and had bought him a fancy gaming toothbrush. Bookmarked forever.

The Fold Mag // I'm not sure if this is a newer website, but there are only 11 articles under the "Motherhood" banner. Heavily sponsored content, and age ranges of kids vary.

10 Great [UK] Blogs About Tweens // And if can't find anything you like above, check out this list!

I am still on the lookout for more articles, blogs, and websites catering toward the parents of a 12-year-old, so I will try and share as I find them. Lucas turns 13 this summer, so I only have a few months left until I have an official teenage on my hands!

xo

(Parenting) Dreams Do Come True

I debated posting this here, as I know Lucas has been requesting more and more privacy online lately, BUT I also think there is a bit of a void when it comes to meaningful information out there about parenting an older child.

So here it goes.

Lucas never to rarely talks about what's going on in school. It is like pulling teeth to get him to admit even what he did at lunch. So when we started chatting about his science unit one night, I was excited and surprised. The surprise especially came when he told me he was working on a group project in his science unit, and that he had created a slideshow about volcanology!

A little bit more digging turned up the possibility for a display...and then I got really excited! And so did Lucas!

I was not expecting this, but over the 12 years of parenting this unique soul, I have learned that the moment Lucas shows interest in anything I have to strike while the iron is hot.

So out came the laptop, the markers, and we made a plan for his trifold display.

I encouraged him to plan out his project first, so that when we finally bought the trifold, he could easily transfer the info over and not have to make a bunch of changes or adjustments. Much to my delight, he took my advice.

I was not prepared to parent a child who is nothing like me. I (naively) thought my kid would easily excel at school, be slightly obsessed with reading and homework, have a slight streak of perfectionism, and would always strive to improve.

Lucas is nothing like that. And I really find myself struggling not only to connect with him, but also to help him in the way that is best for him.

My attention to detail and perfectionism has come in handy in my job, but it hasn't always been that way. Everything takes me a bit longer to complete, and the anxiety that can accompany that can be severe and difficult to manage. Lucas' anxiety stems from another place, but he is definitely not a perfectionist! He is a "get it done to good enough and then it's done" kind of kid. And no prompting or cajoling from Mom is going to change that.

Letting go of my perfectionist tendencies for him is another life lesson.

Him using my paper trimmer is a dream within a dream come true!

I missed the night he painted his volcano, but I am kind of grateful for that because he & BFF had to work together to figure it out! Oh man, if I could have been a fly on the wall for that event! My two boys working together....ack, I'm getting a little vaklempt just thinking about it.

I will say that I am proud of his confidence in himself, but I also worry that this sometimes presents as overconfidence. And that might bit him in the ass when it comes to higher level education where the standards are so much higher and he doesn't yet have the awareness in his abilities to know when confidence won't make up for sloppy work.

I never did get a picture of the finished product. He took his lovely, labelled, trifold display of the Anatomy of a Volcano to school on the last day before spring break. And he was so happy to be finished, to have something he was proud of to contribute to his science project. And I was just happy to have made a new connection with him.

I am so grateful for the moments I have with other parents of kids in the low double digits! How empowering to know I am not alone when my kid just wants to lie around and watch You Tube videos all the time. I am always stumbling across blogs and resources for parents of babies, toddlers, and young school-aged kids, but very little for us parents of "tweens". So, I have started compiling a little list of resources! Check back next week for that post!

xo Lisa

Tell A Story - I Have No Idea What I'm Doing

Dude was being so well-behaved last night. Like, ridiculously well-behaved. He asked to be excused from the table! He continually asked nicely for things, and remembered that he wasn't allowed to have dessert and then didn't even ask (or beg or plead) for it!!

He wanted to build something out of his Hero Factory Lego, and he was looking for ideas from me. So I suggested he build a bird. And with every step and addition, he asked me if it still looked like a bird. It had a Batman face and lots of arms, or wings, or whatever, but it was lovely!

And then he wanted another suggestion. The past couple of mornings he has been talking about his (apparent) love of Bakugan. So that was my next recommendation. And I got to build my own!

Not that I have any idea what is involved in building a Bakugan or anything...but I gave it my best effort!

And Lucas put on a recorded episode of Bakugan to give us some inspiration. His was magnificent, as you can see. Mine was a little bit short. And lacking finesse. But I gave it my all.

I have discovered that a lot of parenting is just giving it your best effort. Even when you have no idea what you're doing. Even if you feel lost, and frustrated, and way out of your depth! Your kid won't notice all of that...all they want is your attention and your love.

And I know how to do that.

later loves