There was this one time on another blog a hundred years ago that I tried to explain what running meant to me. Why I run. How I felt while I was running, what I was thinking...
It did a good job, I did a good job, but I don't think I got everything in there. I don't think that's possible.
At the same time as running is "just running", it is also something more.
I am not a spiritual person (no matter how much I "try" or pretend to be), but running is the closest I get to a spiritual feeling, or what I believe a spiritual feeling must feel like!
Sometimes I
feel “guilty” for the time I spend running. (I think this is a mom/woman/emotional
work thing) Could I be using that time for something more productive? For activism?
And then I remember that I probably spend more time on Instagram in a day than
I do running. And then I remember that I run for my health. And then I remember
that I run for my self care. And that self care isn’t selfish. And then I stop
feeling guilty.
(But
honestly, that time spent/wasted on Instagram is a BIG THING for me lately
& I’m just muddling through and doing the best I can)
REAL TALK
I have in
the past had a “disordered” (not sure I love that word, but I’ve seen it used
so I’m using it too…for now) relationship with my body. I’m not ashamed.
Society tells me to hate how my body looked, so I hated how my body looked. I
know that many folks use exercise to FIGHT (again, not the best word, but bear
with me) their body & make it fit to western (aka cis-hetero-white)
ridiculous standards of beauty. And I also know that the fitness industry can be super cis-hetero-white
(+ male) focused and only “celebrate” “other” bodies when they feel they can profit off of them, and not in actual support
of and to the benefit of the identities who inhabit those bodies. And that the body positive
movement on social media does this too, under the guise of helping (mostly)
women love their bodies, but maybe also convincing us to buy something.
And I know
that so many folks of all genders and backgrounds struggle with the messages
they get, and what it looks like to stay true to themselves and do what’s best
for them (and their bodies…regardless of health and beauty needs/wants).
This is all to say that IT’S FUCKING COMPLICATED and I am very aware of my privilege in even speaking about this in this way.
This is also
to say that my running is an individual experiences that also exists inside all
of these other systems.
WHAT A TIME
TO BE ALIVE!
At any rate,
I love running. I want running to be accessible to any folks out there who
might want to try it. And I want people to feel safe and happy while exploring this
sport. Is this a sport? Am I a sportsperson now? Talk about identity shifts…
xo
FURTHER READING
Queer Flex is an amazing gym in Edmonton that specifically welcomes folks from the LGBTQIA2S+ community. I love their IG feed.
Unlikely Hikers is an amazing community created by Jenny Bruso for folks who don't feel like they "fit" in the standard idea of what a hiker is or looks like.
Creating More Inclusive Exercise Groups - While this article isn't about running specifically, it does address the unique need and challenges to hosting an exercise group for folks of different abilities.
If you have other resources for inclusive exercise, running, etc. I would love to hear more! Comment below, or shoot me an email!
There is so many things to comment on here but I a mostly left thinking about spirit at the end of the post. I've been doing a lot of thinking about spirituality and faith lately. I am discovering I am very spiritual and I see it most often when I am outside. The feeling I get when I look up at a bright blue sky, the warmth of the sun on my face. The feeling I get when I watch water moving or when I look up at a mountains (especially when I look at the mountains). The excitement inside me when I notice dragonflies all around me, or when I realize how green the trees are. These feelings are the Universe's way of speaking to me. Call it Woo or Spirit- to me it's all the same. I am better when I have these things around me. I feel better, act better, do better.
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