Self Care, Bandwidth, and the Hustle

I just wanted to pop on here real quick to say: "I am still alive, but I have a headache and I am very tired."

I have been thinking a lot lately about the current culture of hustle vs. self care. I have a feeling that a lot of creatives and people who are their own bosses have bad days, slow days, "unproductive" days, but I rarely get to see it. And when I do, it is still perfectly curated, professionally styled and edited. Self care only happens in a perfectly lit bathtub apparently.

I have a full-time job, and a part-time kid, and a partner, and home to take care of, and myself to take care of. I can't be here or creating content to put here at all times. And yet it sure seems like some people spend all of their time doing just that, and presenting an "all is good all the time" face to the world. Is this real life? Or is real life not good enough to post on the internet anymore? Is that what it takes to connect with people, to reach out and have folks reach back?

I want to believe that I can connect with people out here while being honest about my time spent away from here.

REAL TALK
I have had a really rough couple of weeks. I am constantly fighting a losing battle with my energy levels, and my focus - rightly - remains on my health right now. And while my art practice is part of my overall health and wellness, I've only got so much energy and bandwidth to devote to that. And sometimes I sacrifice a night of art for a night relaxing on the couch with my son, or a good book.

And hey..that's good for me!

My worth is not determined by my productivity. Ack! I'm a socialist!

If I can enjoy the time I spend working and creating, I feel fulfilled. If I am being busy just to be busy, then I know I need to readjust and rethink my priorities. And if I have a headache for three days in a row and I can't sleep and I can't focus, well, then I need to turn the exterior stuff off and sit quietly with myself.

I don't want to be "crazy busy." I want to be connected, and fulfilled, and whole. Chasing my goals helps me feel like this, but I can't pursue them to the exclusion of everything else. My flip-side word for the year is DISCONNECT, and I am super grateful for the conversations and self exploration it has guided me towards so far.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

And for those of you who are here for the "real" content, I finally feel like I am functioning closer to 90%, so I will be back soon with some more art posts, parenting posts, and adventuring posts!

Thanks for sticking it out. I hope you can find feelings of connection today!

xo

FURTHER READING
Jonas Ellison (Medium) - The Power of Posting Daily
Brown Kids Unapologetic Living
Chase Reeves (Fizzle) - Three Reasons Why Hustling is Hurting You
Lisa Rowan (The Write Life) - You Can't Write it All: How To Avoid Side Hustle Burnout