Monday, December 07, 2015

December Daily for the Depressed

Sometimes the shiny-goodness of December Daily rubs away, revealing the "Keeping Up With The Joneses" blues. It actually bothers me less and less every year because I know why I document my December (MY Stories!), and I know that it's not My Job to post daily videos, and updates, and how-to printable instruction sheets. and etc. (Ugh, thank goodness.) But it does make me chuckle nonetheless. Especially with those accounts that have one perfectly composed photo per day and six cute filler cards, and I'm all like "I took 60 photos today and went to four different events!! Where's the DD Inspiration for that?!?!?".

Just today I ordered my photos from the 1st on. And that's me being very organized. And Ms Edwards already has her perfectly gorgeous, and well-lit photos and December 6th spread up on her blog with info and tutorials and tips on what to do tomorrow and AAACCCCKKKKKK! I was too busy enjoying December 6th to worry about scrapbooking it on the same day. Again, it's not my job, and I don't begrudge her her job, but c'mon. C'mon. Is this the reality for most scrapbookers or journalers? Am I being completely unreasonable in wanting representation for my wonky stories, and my perfectly imperfect, blurry and underexposed December photos?

Cause there are some days when I have no story to tell. Despite my full Instagram feed, I have a lot of nights where I am feeling too ***blargh*** to do much of anything, let alone something "Christmas-y". Let alone something worth "documenting" with cute buttons, and gold stars, and a scripty font.

But hey hey! Why aren't those stories included in my book? They are worthy. They paint a complete picture of my December, all the ups and downs of it.

And so I present "Depressed Girl's December Daily"!!

Tonight I stopped at the grocery store to buy milk because we are out, but instead I picked up 4 boxes of Ferrero Rocher - they were on sale BOGO half off - and ate 2.75 of them while binge-watching Gilmore Girls episodes in my new Christmas pajamas that my aunt bought for me. They match her pajamas. And her cat's pajamas. That's not a joke.

Today my friends are having Christmas drinks at their favourite club downtown, but my anxiety is really bad so instead of going I am spending the night in, reading Facebook with a glass of wine and a pint of ice cream. And also I really hate that club downtown and I have told my friends that many times, but they keep planning our ladies nights there. Why won't they listen to me?

I dressed my cat up in various adorable Christmas hats tonight. That is all.

My kids really wanted to go visit Santa at the mall today, but I just couldn't get out of bed, so my husband took them by himself. He texted me photos and funny Santa puns, and brought home Indian food for dinner. We set the kids up with Netflix and some Christmas movies, and we snuggled on the couch. I didn't get out of my pajamas today, but it turned out to be an okay day.

I got home late from work tonight because the roads were crap and Edmonton drivers are idiots. And I had planned on decorating the tree, and putting up some other decorations and whatnot, but I'm so exhausted and feeling really discouraged about work. So my son & I are eating soup and sandwiches for dinner, and playing Plants vs. Zombies 2 on the iPad.

These stories are not my own, but they could be. I do not own a cat or a husband, but I enjoy ice cream and Netflix and pajamas. That last one is definitely real though. Pure, unabashed Lisa, through and through. I fucking love PVZ2 and soup. That's some quality shit right there.

Remember, crappy days exist. They are part of your story. You can add them to your December Daily if you want. Or not. But don't feel bad that you have them. December isn't all candy canes and Christmas Carols.

Real Life Example.
I really want to go buy a real tree, but I can't decide where will be most convenient because I need to borrow a truck from someone (and their time) and that is really stressing me out. But I really want a tree. So I'm going to rely on my support system of people who love me and who understand my anxieties, and let them help me get a tree. That is my December story this week.

Do what you gotta do to make this month work for you. And please take care of yourselves. You are worthy of all your stories.


1 comment:

  1. Best blog post evah!
    Here is my DD..
    Alarm went off at 7am but I laid in bed until 8:40. Got up. Put yesterday's clothes back on and was out the door by 8:50 for work at 9am Grabbed a stalk of celery on way out for breakfast.
    Left work at 3pm. Back in pj's by 3:20.
    Cluck repeat for Tuesday...


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